Part of doing my intuitive work has been in learning about myself, my personal energy, and my own boundaries. I remember when I first started doing readings professionally how energetic I was. I could do very lengthy readings for people, some of them going as long as a few hours for just one person. I could read for large groups of people, one right after the other, without need or desire for a break. As I grew in my sensitivities, I found the need to set boundaries. My work seemed to take on deeper tones and exchanges, more profound messages were coming through. I was feeling things more deeply. Not just in readings but in daily life.
Feeling things more deeply in and of itself was not a bad thing. But it did become problematic when I was not taking care of my energetic and physical needs when I noticed things weren’t feeling balanced. I would feel drained after certain readings. I would feel certain physical symptoms that were uncharacteristic for me. I would experience mood swings that had absolutely no context to the moment.
Noticing these shifts helped me to question what was going on. I realized I was walking around wide open energetically. In essence, I was giving way more than I was receiving. It was like leaving a switched turned on all the time and finding out the battery was draining as a result. I remember thinking, “Something has to give!” In fact, there was a precise moment when I wanted to quit doing this work altogether. I felt burnt out. I began to refer clients to other readers, letting them know I needed a rest from doing readings. Luckily, the rest period ended up being about two weeks. And every single client I referred elsewhere chose to wait until I was feeling energized again. I am so grateful for that.
I began to look at the triggers. What was happening that seemed to be taking my energy? What was it that I could do that would help shore up my own energy? Sometimes when we begin to ask questions, what we need comes to us. Suddenly I was meeting other readers and healers who were very well grounded, who seemed to have healthy boundaries in their spiritual and personal lives. I would observe and speak to them when possible to find out what they were doing that might help me.
The biggest shift for me was when I began to give all parts of myself permission to ask for and receive whatever I needed to balance my energy. For as long as I’ve been doing group events, hosts have always asked me if I needed breaks in between readings and were kind enough to offer me food and drink. I found that I always said no. I felt that I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of energy of the readings and I felt that eating would weigh me down energetically. So, after saying no to the offers of support, I would go home after group gatherings and eat huge amounts of food or feel very sleepy. So, I began to take short breaks between sessions when I felt the need to do so. I would snack a bit here and there if I felt hungry. It really seemed to help me feel sustained energetically all the way through my work and beyond.
Being clear with clients about boundaries and expectations was helpful. Setting specific time limits for sessions and being very clear about the minimum and maximum amount of time I could work comfortably became exceptionally beneficial. This not only helped me energetically but also allowed me to be the very best I could for my clients. It helped them to know what was available to them.
Part of committing to boundaries is knowing that that commitment will more than likely be tested. Years ago, I used to offer readings and energy work 7 days a week. I went for years without having a formal day or days off for myself. So one year I decided to set Fridays off for myself. And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I did that, the first wave of requests I got were from people who specifically asked for Fridays. I found myself immediately wanting to honor their requests. But something inside said “No!”. I told these clients that Fridays were my only day off for myself. I said that I would read for them on a Friday but only if there was truly no other date that would work out. Every time, without exception, their response would be “Oh, I understand! Let’s look at some other dates.” I was so afraid that I would lose business because of this new boundary. No such thing happened.
As I began to set boundaries, I looked at what fed me energetically. What sorts of things helped feed my body, mind, and spirit? Connecting with nature always seems to help. Eating healthy, drinking lots of water is very helpful, too. One thing that helps me is working with essential oils. Choosing oils that really smelled good had a way of boosting my energy or calming my energy as needed. Getting exercise was called for, too. I tried to ask myself “What do you need physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to help create and maintain balance?” Being open to the responses was crucial. Not expecting that it would always be the same tools was important. I found that there were times when new and creative suggestions would come to me that really helped me to feel supported energetically and to not be stagnant.
And finally I had to realize the importance of asking for what I needed. Whether that meant asking people in my life or asking for help from the spirit realm, I had to confront my challenges with receiving and self worth. I began to grow in my awareness that I am worth what I seek. It is OK to need something. That does not mean that I am weak.
My Spirit Guides often tell me and my clients “The harder it is to do, the more you need to do it.” And boy did this hit home with asking for help. It was really hard for me to do. Then I had a huge “light bulb” moment. I realized that every time I rejected someone’s offer to help, not only was I blocking abundance but I was taking away that person’s opportunity to give. I didn’t like that when other people did that to me, why would I do that to other people? It was a life changing moment. It made receiving much easier. Knowing that other people had a chance to give when I said Yes.
I hope you take time to assess your needs. To look at what seems to drain your energy. What steps can you take to disconnect from what drains you and to connect with what nourishes you? Be patient with yourself in this process. In time you will discover what works for you.